Against the Rose-Colored Sunset
by The Light's Refrain
Summary: ONESHOT The fair is supposed to be a place of happiness, but not for Rika. She just wants Renamon and her old life back. But the past is already a figment of wishes, and the tears of misery leave us blind to others' wounds. Jenruki.


_Hello everyone! It took a while to get this story out. Originally it was going to be my Digimon Bingo entry for "inconsiderate" (the word still made it in here btw XD) but I got stuck on it, and then I read that Takara Ravenheart, my partner for the Digimon Secret Santa, liked Henry/Rika, so..._

_Anyway, this is for Takara Ravenheart, as well as the 28 Days of Love challenge and the Mega Prompts challenge (the quote used) on Digimon Fanfiction Challenge forums. I hope you enjoy!_

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Digimon, then I'd have access to the Digital World, the ultimate fair ride!...That might kill you, but still..._**

Against the Rose-Colored Sunset

"_Memories warm you up on the inside. But they also tear you apart." -Haruki Murakami_

It was all vivacious colors, shining lights, joyous music and innocent laughter, and Rika didn't appreciate any of it. The only reason she was even here at this carnival was because everyone else, including her mom, pestered her into it. She looked at the boisterous fair and saw it for what it was: a peace offering and diversion presented by Yamaki, trying to get back on their good sides. A fair was a poor replacement for their Digimon partners, now stuck in the Digital World, thanks to that mess of a program that was Juggernaut. When did that thing _not_ screw things up somehow?

The others were either oblivious to Yamaki's ruse, or were that desperate for a distraction. They were all happy faces and mirth, dashing about to discover the attractions. They hurled darts, shot water guns, tossed basketballs, petted goats, rode camels, watched magic tricks, and gobbled down hot dogs and cotton candy. Like that was all that mattered.

It disgusted Rika. How could they be so carefree without their partners? The little kids Ai, Mako, and Suzie she could excuse: everything was special to a kid that age, and perhaps they didn't realize how extraordinary Digimon were. She could even almost forgive Kazu and Kenta, who were older but didn't have much time with their partners. Jeri…well, she didn't have a partner _at all_ anymore, so this didn't change anything. But Takato, Ryo, and Henry had their partners about the same length she had. Yet there was Takato, flinging bean bags at cans to win a plush dinosaur. There was Ryo, fishing for rubber duckies. There was Henry, content to watch his little sister feed a lamb.

And here was Rika, thinking how this would have been so much more enjoyable if only Renamon was lurking somewhere nearby. Surely the golden fox would be offering her comments on the strangeness of human traditions, and wondering why anyone would strap themselves in those death contraptions called amusement park rides.

Rika wondered if she would have been happier if she had went to the Digital World with Renamon instead. There was nothing to _do_ here anymore.

"How about going on some rides?" suggested Henry, apparently picking up on her restlessness.

True, at least there were the rides, regardless of Renamon's supposed opinions. Everything from roller coasters to spinning cups, super swingers to bumper cars, Orbiter to Cliffhanger…it was a pretty amazing selection actually.

So ride hunting she went. More accurately, ride hunting for five minutes, and then standing in line for twenty. But once they finally managed to get to the ride itself…suddenly it was like being Sakuyamon again, only without the urgency and threat of death. It was just her and Renamon dancing through the skies, just because they could. Just as they planned to do once the D-Reaper was destroyed, only…

Then those scant minutes were over, and the ride clambered to a halt, and she was just Rika, a girl at a fair. She was empty again. Time for the next ride.

The others joined her haphazardly. Most often it was Kazu and Kenta, who ended up daring each other into going on the scarier rides. Takato didn't enjoy the roller coasters or the drop rides, but he liked just about everything else. Jeri only went on rides that Takato went on. Ryo spent most of his time trying to win prizes from games. Suzie, Ai and Mako went on the kiddie rides of course, with their parents nearby.

And Henry, who suggested the whole ride thing in the first place, was only going on the kiddie rides too. He was probably doing it to keep Suzie happy, but it still irritated Rika. Especially when he looked exceptionally miserable on the carousel ride.

"C'mon Henry, let's get you on some _real_ rides," said Rika, soon after he got off said carousel.

"Oh, uh, that's okay," said Henry, rubbing the back of his head. "I should stay with Suzie…"

"It's okay, Henry," said Suzie. Her lisp was barely there anymore. "You should have fun with everyone else too! I've got Ai and Mako and Daddy here with me!"

"It's alright, we've got things covered here," said Janyu with a smile. "Go on, have fun."

"Well…" said Henry, though he seemed uncertain. He suddenly conjured up a grin. "Yeah, let's go!"

They started off with the mechanical bull, which Rika excelled at after riding Kyubimon so much. Henry didn't do so well, lacking that kind of riding experience. It was pretty funny watching him get tossed all over the place. Then they headed over to the only roller coaster Rika hadn't been on yet. Several drops, twists, turns, loop-de-loops, and a dark tunnel later, they both came out only to go straight back into the waiting line. Then they went on the reverse bungee jump (which Henry didn't like so much) before they joined up with the others to take on the madhouse.

…That had been a bad idea. It might have been fine, if the entirety of the inside hadn't been shaded deep, dark, _D-Reaper_ red. The experience quickly went from fun to uncomfortable. Poor Takato actually screamed when a devil women sprang from the shadows. It was only a prop, of course, but Takato remained edgy for the rest of the journey, keeping close to Jeri. They all stuck close together, actually. It was so good to get out and see sunlight, to hear the tuneless din of the carnival once more.

Ryo, who had mostly been doing his own thing, suddenly seemed to tail Rika and Henry constantly. Rika was annoyed by his persistency (how many times had she told the boy she didn't want to date him?) but she was surprised at how it seemed to irritate Henry too. In fact she sensed a distinct unease between the two, despite their usual smiles and politeness. But, rather than parting their own ways, they continued following Rika together. The fair tour was becoming an escalating spiral of dares between the two boys, as they competed at the same toy booths and got on board the same contraptions.

Well, let those stupid boys do whatever they want. Rika was just here for the rides. If anything, they provided extra amusement. Sometimes she couldn't help but smirk a little when Henry acted nervous about going on a Gravitron, or when Ryo cringed his way through a graveyard-themed ride (the loud explosions really got him in particular). If either of them caught her looking, the excessive bravado afterward was even more entertaining. As if they were fooling anyone.

Whatever little game they were playing, it seemed Ryo was winning. At least Henry seemed to think so, as his jitteriness and irritation increased. He hadn't taken either the Hurricane or Zipper particularly well, staying mostly frozen for both rides. But when Ryo pointed toward the Octopus with a sly smile, Henry actually paled. Though he quickly straightened and nodded to cover for his brief weakness.

Rika had never actually been on an Octopus before. The strange-looking thing had a thick pole base, with eight "arms" jutting out of the top, and at the end of each "arm" was a cluster of seats, three on each side. The seats rocked in the air as the ride spun madly like a tornado.

The line took forever. As the time plodded on, Henry hardly said a word, moving stiffly with each step. He alternated between glancing everywhere but at the Octopus, and glaring at it like it was a nemesis.

"You don't have to ride it, you know," Rika muttered to Henry. Ryo was chatting with Kazu and Kenta, who were further up the line. "The point of a fair is that you do what you wanna do, not what you don't."

Henry jumped, apparently startled out of his thoughts, but then he smiled and shook his head. "Really, it's no big deal. We've been through worse, right?" His expression grew dreary for a moment. Perhaps he was thinking of Terriermon? Swiftly it brightened again. "It's just a ride."

Rika suspected Henry kept telling himself that as their turn finally arrived. Judging by Henry's silence, and how his mouth was set in a grim straight line, it probably wasn't working. Henry got seated on the left, Ryo on the right, and Rika took the middle

"Just pretend you're a Digimon," Rika said. She didn't want Henry sulking the entire ride like the last couple times. "That's what works for me."

Henry started to mutter something in reply, but then the machine jerked to life. It started off painfully slow, but it escalated quickly. Soon Rika was whooping and yelling with everyone else, as the arms spun and the seats rocked with surprising force. She had been worried that it was going to be a lame ride, but this was _awesome_.

She glanced over to Ryo, shouting happily along with everyone else. Then she glanced at Henry, and instantly knew something was wrong. Instead of enjoying the ride, or even the stoic frozenness of before, he was becoming pale and breathless with panic.

"Henry, are you-!" Rika tried to call to him, but her own scream interrupted her as the seats rocked yet again.

Henry pinched his eyes shut as his knuckles turned white from his ever-tighter grip on the safety harness. Even Ryo was noticing something wrong now.

Henry wasn't noticing anything but the whirling and rocking. At the top of his lungs he screamed.

"_Terriermon_!"

He cried his partner's name over and over, even as both Rika and Ryo attempted to calm him. By the time the ride finally slowed, Henry was muttering the name like a chant, staring ahead blankly. Only when the Octopus was nearly to a halt did he grow quiet.

"Henry, you okay?" asked Rika, as Henry staggered off the seat.

Henry merely nodded, not making eye contact. He quickly shuffled past them, only to be blocked by a concerned Kazu and Kenta. Takato and Jeri soon joined them, having apparently heard Henry's scared shouting.

"I said I'm fine," Henry growled, tersely glancing around at his circular barrier of friends. "I just…I didn't like the ride, that's all. I shouldn't have gone on it."

"I told you that you didn't have to ride it," said Rika, as she and Ryo caught up with the others. "What happened back there?"

Henry shook his head vigorously. "I…I dunno…It was nothing…"

"Like hell that was nothing!" Rika snapped. "Just tell us what's wrong!"

Henry just glared at the ground, and Rika regretted her flare-up.

"C'mon Henry, we're just trying to help," said Ryo.

"Yeah, you shouldn't be embarrassed," said Takato.

"That ride did look pretty scary…" added Jeri.

"Back off!" Henry snapped, startling everybody. His abrupt anger soon melted into guilty melancholy. "Just…back off. I just…need some space. I'll meet with you guys later."

He slipped out of the wall of friends and into the sea of strangers.

IIIIII

Rika, like the others, decided to give Henry his requested personal time, but not even the rides could distract her now. What bothered her more than Henry's bad lies was the turmoil in his downcast gray eyes. How he shook as he got off the ride. The way he had slinked off like an injured soldier.

(Ryo seemed wounded too, somehow. "Am I…going to lose another friend?" he murmured to himself, before he disappeared into the crowd.)

She had begun to think that she was the only one deeply affected by the separation from her Digimon partner. But the way Henry shrieked for Terriermon…

It took Rika forever to find him. She checked the prize booths, the petting zoo, the food stands, even the small craft show inside. She thought maybe he was back with his family, but when she spotted Suzie and her dad there was no sign of Henry there either. When she told Janyu about what had happened, he seemed saddened.

"I was afraid something like that might happen," he said, frowning. "Henry usually enjoys those kinds of rides, but…it seems like he's barely able to tolerate them now."

_But why?_ Rika wondered. That and her growing concern drove her to continue searching.

It didn't occur to Rika until later to check some of the less intense rides. Then, at the far corner of the fair, she finally found Henry waiting in line at the ancient-looking Ferris Wheel. Unlike most of the rides, this one barely had any line at all. His eyes still looked haunted.

She didn't say anything as she joined him, aside from a simple wave. He stayed silent in return, nodding. They both remained quiet until they got onto the Ferris Wheel itself, seated side by side. After a terribly long wait, it slowly creaked upward. Outside it had begun to darken.

"…I'm sorry about earlier," Henry finally spoke, gazing to the colorful park below.

Rika shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

Henry didn't say anything at first. "I'm glad that I got to be a Tamer. For all the big and little things that happened. How it made me a better person…"

Rika nodded. "Yeah…It hurts, not being able to see Renamon, but…I know she can take care of herself. She was my partner, after all."

Henry laughed a little. "Yeah, same here…" The mirth soon faded. "But…the D-Reaper…Juggernaut…" His expression darkened at that last name. "I hate Juggernaut. What it did to us. What it did to everyone."

"Yeah, we all do," said Rika. It was the main reason why there partners weren't here with them now.

Henry was still looking outside, but his eyes were distant. "We had to spin like crazy as MegaGargomon to save everyone. So we spun and spun and spun…until the BioMerge fell apart," Henry went on. "And then me and Terriermon got spun in different directions, and I had no idea where I was or where he was, or where _anything_ was…I-I thought I'd lost him, when I woke up outside but he wasn't there…He was okay, of course, we all know that now, but I didn't know then…and then the aftereffects kicked in and I lost him for _real_-" His voice cracked.

"Henry…"

"I know he's okay, I know he's okay, but I can't _see_ or _be_ with him anymore," Henry went on. He tried to regain his composure. "I had dizzy spells for days afterward, you know. Never told Dad though. And spinning…I can't stand spinning anymore. I can't even stand a freaking carousel, 'cause it starts taking me back to _that time_…"

_So that's why…_Rika thought, thinking back to his misery on the merry-go-round and his petrifaction on the other rides. "Why didn't you just _say_ something then?"

"I…I wanted to get over it," Henry replied, turning to Rika. "I thought maybe with enough rides, it would get better…and I didn't want to lose to Ryo either, I guess…and…" He smiled slightly. "I wanted to help you have fun, you know? You've been so down lately, I just…"

Rika's words stuck in her throat for a moment, as she looked away. "You…You didn't have to do that. I'm fine."

"You're not fine," Henry said. "…Just as I'm not fine. I don't regret being a Tamer, but I'm not fine. None of us are."

And that was the truth she had failed to see, Rika realized. She had been so devoured by her own misery that she had been numb to everyone else's pain. She thought she had finally become a good friend. How had she been so _inconsiderate_?

The ride creaked along, until it paused near the top. Finally, all the distracting sounds of the fair were petty drones and purrs. They could see the entire park from their perch, the lights clashing with the incoming darkness.

"I wonder what the others are doing now?" Henry murmured, gazing below. "Think they're having fun, wherever they are? Maybe wondering what we're doing too?"

Rika couldn't tell if Henry was talking about their human companions or their Digimon partners. What she could tell, even in the sporadic light of the Ferris Wheel, was that Henry was trying his hardest not to cry. She felt her own eyes burning.

She didn't say anything. All words seemed hollow noise. She couldn't say that their partners had to return someday, because that was no guarantee. This was the real world, not the wish-warped Digital World. Nor could she say that it would all be okay, that the pain would just fade away like pencil writing. They would always be Tamers, partners present or not. Card-players, Digital World explorers and child war veterans. Never kids.

So she took his shaking hand, and he clasped it gratefully. In silence, with wet eyes, they both witnessed the ever-brightening lights and ever-deepening darkness, all against the rose-colored sunset.

_IIIIII_

_I think one of the reasons this took so long is that...the fic wasn't what I thought it was. It started as "Wouldn't it be cute if Henry doesn't like spinning after the Juggernaut thing, but tries to be a man about it anyway, and Rika has to comfort him?"...and then morphed into something focused more on PTSD and trauma than fluff. Go figure. I know that the Tamers do eventually get their partners back, but at this time they don't know if they'll ever see them again, so it's heart-wrenching for them right now. _

_Btw, cookies to anyone who knows why Ryo was traumatized by certain things :P._

_Feel free to let me know what you think, and I hope you liked it!_


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